Bright Patterned One-Piece Bathing Suits You’ll Actually WANT To Wear!

Seriously. What the hell has happened to swimwear this season? More specifically the usually over 35 friendly one-piece bathing suit. While searching for flattering patterned one-piece swimsuits my eyes were assaulted by unflattering cut-outs, tacky mesh inserts and hippy-dippy macrame. I do NOT want a bathing suit that cuts out at the areas I don’t want exposed or one so low cut, my boobs could flop out and my belly button be exposed. A string leading from the bandeau top to a low-cut thong bottom constitute a one-piece. It’s a damn bikini with a string! Nor do I feel it’s appropriate for a women to wear a Baywatch cut Speedo with major side-boob that reads “Birthday Suit” or “On Fleek.” Has everyone gone mad?

I want a bathing suit that holds me together, not exposes what I want to keep covered. I can handle a small key hole cut out around the chest area, but that’s about it. I also don’t want an “old-lady” suit that squeezes me so tight I can’t breath or has that obvious wrap and rouching that screams “YOUR TOO OLD TO WEAR A COOL SUIT!” Thanks for letting me vent. Yet, hopefully swimsuit designers will get the message next year. They forgot about the women who typically wear one-pieces. On the flip side, I should be thankful one-pieces are on trend, but that didn’t make my job any easier.

So when I say I worked hard to find the suits below, I am NOT joking. I searched far and wide for one-piece suits that had some flattering patterns and colors so you don’t feel all you can wear is a solid color or more specifically black. One only needs so many black bathing suits (well that’s a lie, but I’m tying to broaden our thought process here). Besides, florals, color blocking and prints are really on trend this season. Take a look at what I finally found. I ordered one or two myself! You’re welcome.


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