Bright Patterned One-Piece Bathing Suits You’ll Actually WANT To Wear!

Seriously. What the hell has happened to swimwear this season? More specifically the usually over 35 friendly one-piece bathing suit. While searching for flattering patterned one-piece swimsuits my eyes were assaulted by unflattering cut-outs, tacky mesh inserts and hippy-dippy macrame. I do NOT want a bathing suit that cuts out at the areas I don’t want exposed or one so low cut, my boobs could flop out and my belly button be exposed. A string leading from the bandeau top to a low-cut thong bottom constitute a one-piece. It’s a damn bikini with a string! Nor do I feel it’s appropriate for a women to wear a Baywatch cut Speedo with major side-boob that reads “Birthday Suit” or “On Fleek.” Has everyone gone mad?