This episode of The Real Housewives of New York City begins with Sonja getting a massage and facial (of free sperm) from her gossipy massage/facialist therapist and simultaneously texting. There is nothing stopping her from texting. So relaxing. Getting ready for her birthday party. She’s wearing a towel so there isn’t much to talk about there. “John would never miss the opening of an envelope,” Sonja remarks lovingly. Now to Carole’s apartment where she has invited a psychic. Jules arrives looking skinny and chic with food from Eately which is ironic since Jules doesn’t eat. Then Dorinda arrives wearing a crazy bright silk poncho over and cameo Chanel bag which doesn’t match. Don’t worry, the poncho comes off to reveal a gray turtleneck! Of course, because she has to wear drab gray.
Here we go! I’m ready for Bethenny’s fall birthday party in the Hamptons on the Real Housewives Of New York. It’s nice to see Cookie is still around. Husband out, dog in.
Anyway, the fashion this week is casual…which I love! That’s when I assume none are using a stylist and I really get to see how they put themselves together. This week’s episode centers around a BBQ in the Hamptons and a brunch in the Hamptons – in the late fall.
Drama Alert! After a cigarette break (who still smokes?) we are back to the bra fitting party – where we left off from last week on the Real Housewives of New York. Jules is going team Dorinda and not Bethenny because Dorinda got her on the show. Mistake. Anyway, these bra fitters are probably like “these bitches are wild animals.” The claws are out!
This show could be renamed the Real Divorcees of New York except for Jules who is truly married (for now) but is a complete ditz. She can’t make coffee and is disgustingly thin. Her parenting and cooking segments are pathetic and boring. Doesn’t her husband know by now she can’t make coffee? “My husband loves me as long as I put the effort in. Morning time is family time! There’s not enough of me. My life is being the mother to three children.” Whatever. Until the nanny takes over. Honey, the only way you are getting back for another season is if you either go to a hospital for an eating disorder and they can make a story around that or if your husband cheats on you and even that didn’t help Kristen Taekman. Moving on.
If everything is bigger in Texas why isn’t this cast? There are only 5 of them in this premier season of The Real Housewives of Dallas. Brandi, Tiffany, Cary, Stephanie and LeeAnne. After initial introductions, I now know why. More of these airheads would make me throw something through my TV. But this is just the premiere episode of a new city. It could get better. Right?