Project Runway Season 5. "Holla Atcha Boy, Tim!" Memorable Quotes from the First Episode.

So, we’ve come full circle! As we tipped you off earlier this week, last night’s episode revolved around an innovative materials challenge. After briefly meeting the colorful new characters, we got down to business. Like the first episode of season 1, the first episode of season 5 sent the sewing contestants to Gristedes (which SCS’s Lauren calls Griss-Grodies) grocery store to purchase materials for their look. Is this full circle Bravo‘s way of saying that this is last true season of Project Runway? That was how it felt to us. Austin Scarlett appeared looking like a young British boy going sailing and guided the contestants before their challenge by saying when he won, innovation and corn husks were the key to his success. If they had only listened!

Well, the designers faced a multitude of challenges… Stella‘s garbage bags were cheap (next time go with Hefty), Daniel had to iron plastic cups to make them mold-able, and everyone got chastised for using too many tablecloths. Did they ‘make it work‘?

In the end, Kelli won the day with her pretty-ugly dress, made of died and bleached vacuum bags, burnt coffee filters, push-pins, and notebook spiral. We liked her dress from the beginning and think she is definitely an early favorite! She nailed (or push-pinned) the innovation in this challenge.

Taking the loser’s spot was prematurely confident and well-known NY designer Jerry Tam. He seemed weirdly sweet and kind of awkward, and when he mentioned his  ‘April flowers bring May showers‘ raincoat look, we thought it had promise! But, as many in the episode pointed out, it had a very serial-killer, sterile look to it once completed, and failed to use any innovative materials. And the first designer bites the dust.

Here are our selections of memorable quotes!:

I moved to New York, and I couldn’t afford the cool clothes… had to start making the cool clothes myself! – Jerell

Eventually [designing] will pay the bills, but right now I work at a coffee shop. – Blayne

I have a ridiculous obsession with tanning, so whoever I need to talk to… squeeze that in. – Blayne, as if we couldn’t tell already!

I design for […] hookers or pimps or whoever is tough enough to wear it. – Stella, and you’d have to be tough to wear this week’s Stella look, because the judges ripped it to shreds!

I like to call it Holly Golightly goes to a Salvador Dali exhibit. – Jennifer, on her design aesthetic.

I’m actually doing very well as a designer. – Jerry Tam… how ironic.

I got tired of making millions for the rest of the world, and decided Suede needed to make millions for Suede! – Suede, as he unwraps his bedazzled ‘Suede’ denim vest complete with marijuana leaf iron-on patch.

I am the silent fashion assassin. – Leanne

The one thing all 16 of your share is the talent and skills to win this competition, so knock our socks off! – Tim Gunn

I’m like, if Heidi would wear it, it’s acceptable. If not, it’s garbage. – Keith, doing his best to suck up to the judge/host.

I have a gift that many aspire to go through school to have, and I was just born with it.  – Keith

If I wasn’t a fashion designer, I would have been a zoologist. – Daniel

My strategy? Mop-heads, mop-heads, mop-heads. – Terri

I definitely, definitely, definitely did not want to get any kind of tablecloth or anything that resembled fabric. That was too easy. – said Kelli who wound up with vacuum bags which are kind of like fabric, no?

Whackadoodle! – Suede

To fusilli or not to fusilli… – Joe

It’s gonna be a pretty ugly dress for sure. Pretty ugly in a great way! – Kelli

I’m not quite sure what Blayne is trying to sell with all his -licious this and -licious that, but I wish he’d put it back in his case, close it up, and take it to the girl next door. – Jerell

I saw that people were just putting crap on top of crap, you know paper bags on top of coffee filters, and balloons or balls, and produce. That’s all the stuff I just threw away in the trash. – Jerry Tam

Holla atcha boy, Tim! – Blayne

Right now, this is just a paper dress… and we’ve seen plenty of them! – Tim to Korto

The reason we took you to Gristedes was to use materials that were untraditional and unexpected, and a tablecloth- it is a form of fabric. I just think the judges are gonna say you guys are a bunch of slackers! You gotta get these things to go beyond what they actually are! – Tim

You’re one of the 16 people here, you better start draping trashbags around a body-form and duct tape it! Just do whatever you gotta do, and sell it on the runway! – Jerell’s sound advice to a struggling Stella.

Oh my god, I’m gonna have to push those puppies in there! – Kenley, on her model’s boobs.

That’s so American Psycho and scary! – Kenley, on Jerry Tam’s look.

I look at Nina’s face and see she’s cracking up a bit, and I hope that’s a good thing. – Daniel

Honestly she turned the corner, and I was like is she like a bridal nurse? Just the visual of it is… just… freaky. – Michael Kors on Jerry Tam’s look.

It’s the right girl in the right dress styled the right way. She’s got a great look. – Michael Kors to Korto.

Well there’s no transformation. I mean, she turned the corner and she’s in garbage bags. The dress is just, it’s a yawn. – Michael Kors to Stella.

Playboy bunny gone grunge. – Heidi on Blayne’s look.

He had that bravado and that confidence. I think that is something that you cannot learn, you either have it or you don’t. – Kors on Daniel.

I mean that was just butt-ugly, that was horrible. – Heidi on Stella’s look.

It looked like something you would wear if you were in a slasher movie! – Kors on Jerry Tam.

When it first came out, I wrote hideous on my card. – Austin Scarlett on Blayne’s girlicious piece.

And possibly the best quote of the whole night came from the scenes of the upcoming season…

It looks like a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park! – Tim Gunn, you are too much.

… Holla atcha blog, until next week!

If you missed last night’s episode click here for a video recap.

Also, don’t forget to check out Blogging Project Runway…a site we love!

– Hayley Wells

Photos: Bravotv.com