Comment: A bikini and some silly string does not an outfit make. Yikes. Don’t try this at home. OK, at home, but don’t leave your home wearing this.
She’s thinking: I am so hot. Thank God I decided to laser my pits!
YES! I LOOK FORWARD TO #GROWINGYOUNGER
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE ME TO YOUR MAILING LIST.
Comment: Word. Do NOT wear anything but black underwear beneath a sheer, synthetic dress. It’s see-through! How embarrassing is this? It’s like wearing an unlined white bathing suit at the beach. Bad. Very bad.
She’s thinking: I pray this does not hit the newswire. Eh, it won’t. This show stinks and won’t get picked up anyway.
Comment: Wow, she has not only mastered the look, but the smile-less pose devoid of personality. This is even worse because it is a totally cheap imitation. Be careful when reading and then buying those "Celebrity Looks for Less" because you could wind up looking like this…a cheap fashion victim.
She’s thinking: Now all I need is a hot, super wealthy football player and I am on her heels (those would be YSL heels).
Comment: I usually admire Alicia Keys. She wins ‘Most Improved’ style-wise in my book…until this unfortunate mishap. From the neck up, she is flawless. So how did she (or her makeup artist) miss covering those tan lines? The dress is just so animalistic and tight and does nothing for her figure, not to mention it is pulling across the front (a clear sign it’s too tight). Granted, her hands are in her pockets. I also abhor black sheer pantyhose anytime, but especially in the summer and am not understanding the choice of bright blue pumps with this ensemble.
She’s thinking: Someone is getting so fired for this.
Comment: This outfit has Lord & Taylor prom written all over it. Sad because she could be fabulous. Unless you are still in high school, this is a look to avoid. The shoes look cheap, do not match and do not fit.
She’s thinking: I’m going to be a star (and she probably will). Then I can afford a stylist.
Comment: Coincidentally she is Howard Stern’s ‘Hottest Fan’ so this explains a lot! However, the injected lips, fake boobs and processed hair still do not detract from the fact that her jeans are undone. Is this for real? Is she really dropping trou? The only time one should ever sport this look is running to the bathroom after a 10-hour road trip with no rest stops.
She’s thinking: Can you believe I was a total nerd in high-school? Now I’m showing them (and us everything)!
– Lauren Dimet Waters