Watching this season of The Real Housewives of New York, I have come to two conclusions. One, Sonja Morgan is a whore. Two, LuMann is a bigger whore. If she did in fact climb on top of her future husband while he was on a date with his girlfriend of three months (holding hands no less) and left with him that evening (did he just leave his date at the bar?) then that is horrible and so NOT very Countess-like. In fact, I dare to say it is very “See You Next Tuesday-like.” If you are one of those suckers who bought her book “Class with the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair” I’d either demand your money back or light it on fire. Those two obviously deserve each other. How disgusting.
It’s winter in NYC, at least on the Real Housewives of New York! Bethenny walks into work where Kristopher, her makeup artist, reveals he just had his fat frozen. I may have to try that. Bethenny says “You’re like the future Janice Dickenson.” Bethenny’s surgery is just 3 days away and while she is having anxiety about it, she’s keeping busy launching a new line of Skinny Girl chocolates, which is her last obligation prior to surgery. The other girls have been really supportive, most surprisingly Ramoaner. “She’s been unbelievable, who would ever think?” Apparently Ramoaner has been popping over with flowers and books to read so she can keep Bethenny company. It’s not like she has anything better to do.
After last week, I’m not really looking forward to this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York. I’m afraid we will have to suffer through a cat Bat Mitzvah or something equally insulting. This episode starts when Jules walks into a restaurant called “Wild” and asks for a pillow for her cooch. Then Dorinda enters (wearing a hideous dog t-shirt) and asks how her vagina is. “All we need is a venereal disease, a DNC and a pregnancy and we’ve covered the whole vagina topic. There’s a lot of vagina problems going on,” says an uncomfortable Dorinda.
Well it’s official, the season that showed so much promise officially jumped the shark! This episode of The Real Housewives of New York was shockingly not only boring, but just plain bad. Two things become crystal clear while watching. One, you don’t need a husband to be RHONY, but you do need a dog. Two, the season was going to culminate around an assuredly toxic and drunken trip to Mexico (at least that was what Bravo banked on), but then the hostess of the trip discovered she had fibroid tumors and needed surgery and could not longer travel. Trip cancelled. Drama over.
This episode of The Real Housewives of New York City is the third part of a trilogy I like to call “Dorinda’s Bershires House of Horrors.” We left off (in case you forgot) with Bethenny walking in on LuMann in Dorinda’s kitchen where she was talking smack about her. Busted!
I love a short week! Then the Real Housewives of New York comes on sooner. That makes sense right? I’m watching too much reality TV, obviously. It’s making me dumb (so my husband says). Anyway, this week’s episode opens back at Dorinda’s house in the Berkshires (in case you forgot LuMann and Bethenny were going at it over Skinny Girl). Now stay alert because this week’s episode is like watching a game of ping pong.
We open this week of The Real Housewives of New York City at Gray Gardens otherwise (I learned this week) referred to as “Chateau (Lady) Morgan.” LuMann is moving in to her own suite on the 5th floor. She has her house in the Hamptons, gave up her West Side apartment and needs to devote all her time to finding the man she is confident she will soon meet. She shows up wearing a Santa coat and Sonja greets her in a fur trimmed jacket. In her house. Apparently she doesn’t turn on the heat. Get the Grey Gardens reference yet? LuMann says, “she’s (Sonja) rudderless without her daughter around. I’m like the man in the relationship with Sonja (you got that LuMann). Without me around I think she’s more stable.” Honey with you she’s unstable!