What is a year without a review of superlatively bad celebrity fashion? We have not been publishing this feature for a full year yet. But trust us, we have more than enough material. Here are some of our favorites, er the year’s worst!
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Comment: This outfit is super bad. The dress, the matching colored bag, the leather gloves and the out-of-date shoes. Oh and let’s not forget the sheer black hose.
She’s thinking: I’m a cougar. I’m hot. Meeoooow! It took me a week to put this ensemble together.
Comment: It’s never a good idea to wear roadkill. Though the belt is a nice
try, this vest screams "CAVEMAN"! I love the exposed arm tattoo though,
god forbid there is a shirt under this vest, she’d boil to death! Don’t
even get me started on the heels on the boots. They are just wrong! Her
stylist needs to be fired. Fast!
She’s thinking: It’s 55 degrees in Manhattan today. I’m burning up! Get me some ice water!
Comment: What the heck is this (she says slapping her hand to her forehead)? Let me see if I have this straight…furry boots in L.A., shorts, a silk negligee top and a shawl pashmina thing. Oh and tattoos, let’s not forget those! How can we? I give up.
She’s thinking: I have about an inch to spare on this forearm so I’m booking for another tatt tomorrow!
Comment: Speaking of nightmares, the ex-Mrs. Lorenzo Lamas is a testament to bad plastic surgery. Sad considering she’s at a plastic surgeon’s event. You have to give her credit for having three kids (they must be embarrassed as this is her normal attire). But, that’s really all the credit you have to give her. Only in L.A. would you see a woman over 25 dressed like this. If I have to explain what is wrong with this outfit then I give up.
She’s thinking: Shapewear my ass! This is all me, baby. OK and some plastic. "I’m a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World."
Comment: Charo called. She wants her Love Boat costume back. Those pants are ridiculous. Seriously. You have to admire her gumption though.
She’s thinking: I love Vegas! Vegas baby! I’m so money. Wait. I’m not in Vegas?
Comment: Oh Mischa. What has happened to your sense of style? Did you lose your stylist once you lost your show? The dress isn’t bad. It’s just the choice of a head-wound wrap I don’t get, and those damn Keds! If the dress were a little longer and paired with a great heeled sandal (oh and natural hair) we would not be talking about her.
She’s thinking: I love the Hamptons! My Keds rock.
What is so tragic here (besides the dress) is that this is a FASHION
and beauty event! This dress is horrid. Personally I’d use it for rags.
It’s see-through at the top (I swear I see nipple) and bunches out at
the hip. Just horrid. What a pretty girl. She got the beauty part
nailed. Such a shame.
She’s thinking: Maybe I should not have worn this dress my nephew tye-dyed at camp. What was I thinking? Elle McPherson looks so much better.
Comment: A bikini and some silly string does not an outfit make. Yikes. Don’t try this at home. OK, at home, but don’t leave your home wearing this.
She’s thinking: I am so hot. Thank God I decided to laser my pits!
I really don’t understand the fascination with this woman. Frankly I
find her freaky looking and totally severe. She is Scary Spice. Aside
from the kick-ass YSL Tribute pumps this outfit is a joke right?
Seriously. What is with the fingerless leather gloves? Did she really
ride a Harley to the event? Somehow I doubt it.
She’s thinking: Only 10 more lbs. before I hit my goal weight. Take that America!
Comment: Wow, she has not only mastered the look, but the smile-less pose devoid of personality. This is even worse because it is a totally cheap imitation. Be careful when reading and then buying those "Celebrity Looks for Less" because you could wind up looking like this…a cheap fashion victim.
She’s thinking: Now all I need is a hot, super wealthy football player and I am on her heels (those would be YSL heels).
Debra Messing at the opening night of Shakespeare in the Park 2007 production of Romeo and Juliet.
Comment: I normally dig most of her outfits and I love her, however, this is the sad reality of wearing maternity dresses when you are not pregnant. YOU LOOK HUGE! In this case, she looks as if she is wearing a nightie. Oh and if you are pale and are going to wear white…load on the lipstick or add some color to your face.
She’s thinking: I just rolled out of bed, think anyone notices?
Whitney Port at the Diesel Grand Opening in L.A.
Comment: Well isn’t she just the cutest? All ready for a hoedown. I just love the denim on denim look (not) and the boots just add a certain flair.
She’s thinking: Hi Ya’ll!
Comment: It is so hard to force myself to remember that this woman styled the chicas on my favorite show ‘Sex in the City." I mean the skirt on this carwash dress is sending shivers down my spine. Add to that, she’s well over 50 and the tube top is hideous on everyone.
She’s thinking: Take that beotches! I’m laughing all the way to the bank!
Rachel Dratch at Magnolia Pictures "Crazy Love" New York Premiere
Comment: The funny lady looks funny dressed like a girl or rather a pirate. Maybe it’s time for a stylist. She looks like Debbie Downer.
She’s thinking: What am I doing on a red carpet? Get me outta here. Hurry up will ya?
Comment: Is there really anything not annoying about her? The voice, the clothes. When it comes to cloying tackiness, nobody else compares. A leopard print headscarf? Axle Drescher’s coat might not have been too bad had she matched it with a skinny pant. The wide legs with (are those?) cowboys boots. Yeesch.
She’s thinking: Brilliant! Nobody can see the Botox marks on my forehead.
Comment: Yes, the songstress is adorable, but this is a woman! She is not 12. Even though the boots are Chanel, they are fuuuuugly. Sorry. I don’t know bugs me more…the pink bag or the black bra.
She’s thinking: Baby, I am one hot baby!
Comment: This clearly is not the best damn thing she has ever worn. Suspenders, bermudas and (are those) hose? Oh and what the hell is on her feet?
– Lauren Dimet Waters