Just when last week’s episode redeemed my love of Project Runway we had this week’s All Stars episode which was BORING and totally predictable. I hate the method (and obvious) way the show is edited so only a moron can’t figure out the winner and loser within the first 10 minutes. Two steps forwards, 10 steps back.
This week’s challenge was separates. Specifically for QVC. The remaining designers are to design a top and bottom that can be worn together or with other items in a woman’s closet. Additionally, each designer must create a fashion-forward (high-fashion) version of the first look. Each designer gets $300 to design both looks, 2 models and one day in the workroom. The winning separates look will be manufactured and sold by QVC as part of their G.I.L.I (no idea what that is) line.
The designers are all excited because being sold on QVC is apparently huge. It’s all about business, money and selling a crappy version of their design: ie, selling out. Therefore the winning look must be so good and commercial, it still looks OK made cheaply and hawked at 3am.
Jay has a hard time choosing fabric at Mood so he just tosses an assload in his cart and claims he can figure it out on the fly (see the foreshadowing?). Michelle throws shade at Helen because she doesn’t really do commercial. Fabio doesn’t understand why Dmitry chooses neoprene. Zanna doesn’t understand why Michelle ops for a bold print (which will limit versatility) and well, it does not leave the viewer (me) with much hope for the runway show.
Then there is an odd moment where the designers rush to Time Square to pretend they really care that the judges and Alyssa get ring the NASDAQ closing bell. Why the designers themselves are not invited is beyond comprehension and right now I am really hating the show. Besides, I’d rather see Tim, Heidi, Nina and Orange Michael Kors, but I digress.
Back in the workroom Sonjia hacks her yellow dress design and basically resews it on the fly and not on a form which irks the hell out of Helen. True it is not very high-fashion, but there is no way this look could win. Or could it (more obvious foreshadowing).
Time for the runway where guest judges are QVC’s Lisa Robertson and Ex Fashion Police commentator (whom I miss by the way) George Kotsiopoulos. The usuals are there too.
Sonjia – Personally I found her grey and lemon color combination ugly as sin, but her grey lace cropped top with cutout pencil skirt is probably the best of a bad lot. Sonjia’s long fashion forward lemon dress on the fly isn’t great (Georgina really doesn’t like it), but it’s the separates of her RTW look that nail it. She wins.
Helen – This one I don’t get at all and am shocked it’s a top three look instead of a bottom three. The separates are utterly unflattering and would make any QVC shopper look immense (not to mention hideous). Her black fashion forward dress is beautiful, but completely unoriginal. Had she cut the dress in half and sent it out as separates, it would have won. Helen is safe.
Dmitry – This look both confounds and intrigues me. He obviously does not know who the QVC shopper is as the separates are way too chic and high-end for the average woman. The judges didn’t agree either. Georgina thinks the fashion-forward look is more accessible than his separates, yet Lisa says the hem is so short it’s vulgar. Isaac doesn’t like either design and George loves them both. He is safe.
Michelle – Her crazy red and orange print is universally hated (OK, by myself and Isaac). Lisa and George adore the print, but agree the QVC customer probably wouldn’t. It it doesn’t sell, it loses. Michelle takes a risk that doesn’t pay off, but it doesn’t get her eliminated either. She’s safe.
Fabio – After nearly being eliminated last week, the bottom is not where Fabio wants to be, yet he’s there because his designs are basically too safe and don’t feel current. His dress strikes Georgina as too young, but Alyssa likes the separates (skort and leather top). Isaac likes neither and warns Fabio he had better not be on the bottom again or it’s curtains. Yet, he is safe.
Jay – His looks are not cohesive and are called out for being poorly designed and for his fabric choice. Georgina asks why he simply didn’t use the silk for the pants. The drape and shade of red dress of the dress is off-putting. Isaac hates the mullet hem-length (it is dated) and Lisa does not see any cohesion. Georgina hints Jay has given up. He’s out.
And then then there were 5…
“I should have come up with a strong point of view before coming here.” – Jay
“I don’t have no idea at all!” – Sonjia
“I’m in fashion purgatory now.” – Helen
“Be careful not to go too ‘Mortisha'” – Zanna
O reality, that is too short, and yo might be arrested.” –Lisa Robinson
“It works on the model but i’s not going to work on anyone else.” – George Kotsiopoulos
“Darling…Its beyond!” – Isaac
“This is the dress I would wear on the red carpet and then I’d very carefully place it in a box so I could give it to my daughter.” – Alyssa
Something about it is goes a little ‘duty free’ … like you’d see it and buy it in an airport.” – Isaac
“But the place it ends is unforgivable…just unforgivable, darling.” – Isaac
“Prints! Oh my god- prints! Oh gosh shed me from the light of the prints!’ – Michelle
“I like this print!” – George
“Oh…I don’t like this print – I’m sorry.” – Isaac
“What designer would put that top with those pants and think, ‘These look great!’?” – George Kotsiopoulos
“It stood part and not above.” – Isaac
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– Lauren Dimet Waters