I for one am completely over 2016. The year brought a lot of death, especially of famous people I adored and miss. So I am ready for 2017 and pray that a few other things (never people) die, like these trends that I can’t stand seeing any more! May they all go to the fashion and beauty graveyard and stay buried.
1. Bra Tops – I remember Madonna pulling these off in the 80’s. She can’t wear them off now (although she certainly tries). Even if you consider wearing one over a fitted turtleneck – please don’t. This is a look only someone under 30 should attempt and they had better have a model’s body and not an ounce of flab.
2. Furry Flats – I think Chewy shoes were on my list last year and yet I still see the occasional pair of furry Gucci loafers. They are dumb. Try pointed flats instead.
3. Faces on Shoes – This trend is Carol’s pet peeve. I don’t mind it as much as she does, but considering she is the shoe addict of the two of us and has a rarely met a shoe she does not like, I will heed her advice and dislike them too.
4. Strobling (overly contoured faces) – If one more person asks me how to contour I may scream. Overdoing it with highlighter is aging and ridiculous. Lay off the contour, especially if it has glimmer. Although watching most how-to YouTube videos on strobling is very entertaining. If you have some spare time I recommend you check out a few for laughs.
5. Big Butts – If you have a naturally plump booty, good for you. If you are thinking you might want to add some junk in the trunk surgically, don’t. Plastic surgeons say this disturbing trend is on the rise. They also expect to be removing them in about 5 years when the Kardashians hopefully disappear and the surgically enhanced posteriors give in to gravity.
6. Emoji Prints – Yes, you are too old to wear them and yes, they look stupid.
7. Cold Shoulder Tops – I have never liked this trend but it just won’t go away. Especially for the over 40 crowd. Trust me, your shoulder may be the tightest place on your body right now, but this trend is obvious and played out.
8. Rings on the Top Half of Fingers – Keep your rings where they belong – under your knuckles.
9. Ear Crawlers and Cuffs – This is another jewelry trend that is totally played out. Try large statement earrings instead since they are on trend.
10. Leather Tie Chokers – They look too much like the leather bolero ties that made me gag in the 90’s. Try a delicate chain instead.
Have a Happy New Year and stay safe, yet chic!