When the final 5 designers arrive at Georgina Chapman’s Marchesa bridal studio, you just know what is going down. Alyssa informs them she is going to perform a wedding on the runway – a Project Runway first! No, I think a first will be when she (finally) gives birth on the runway. It has to happen soon. Right? Anyway, aside from Alyssa and Georgina the designers meet Marchesa co-founder Keren Craig and Dana, a bridal client who already has her Marchesa wedding gown. But SURPRISE, her wedding is tomorrow and she does not have her bridesmaid’s dresses? Um, yeah. Right.
The designers must design a bridesmaid dress that fits in with the Marchesa aesthetic and is also suitable for other events. Now THAT would be another first, a bridesmaid dress that can actually be worn again? Um, yeah. Right. The designers have a budget of $150 and one day to work. The winner will get a diamond ring from the (of course) Marchesa ring collection and and two front-row seats to Marchesa’s next fashion show and backstage access.
I hate all things wedding related so I already don’t care for this challenge. The designers start to sketch predictable designs. All except Sonjia who is having a mental block. She doesn’t sketch anyway so she figures she will just get inspired once she gets to Mood. Still uninspired she has a meltdown. Zanna comes through the workroom for her critiques with Marchesa CEO (and Georgina’s hot brother. I’m a sucker for a British accent) Edward Chapman. Of course there is praise for Sonjia’s simple, seen-a-hundred-times-before dress. Franky I’m finding all of the dresses subpar, but let’s see what the judges have to say.
Joining Georgina, Isaac, and Alyssa is guest judge Cat Deeley (who is she?).
Helen – Her dress is deemed the best of a sad lot. The lace at the neckline is a nice touch and Cat appreciates that the dress is flattering. The other judges feel it meets the versatility requirement. The “wedding” dress designer basically wins out of default.
Sonjia – Ridiculously Alyssa is nuts over this stupid dress (figures) and Georgina seems fine with it, but its Isaac that finally says what we are thinking; it’s not very good. In his opinion she used too much fabric.
Dmitry – Most of the judges agree his dress is OK, but Isaac again says what we are all thinking; this runway sucks. He absolutely hates this dress, but Cat says she would wear it, so he’s safe.
Michelle – Cat is buying what Michelle is selling which is a photographic neckline, but Alyssa thinks the neckline looks vulgar and the hem looks like it belongs in a circus. Issac hates how long it is and when it is hiked up the dress is almost acceptable.
Fabio – Even though this is my personal favorite, there are obvious problems with the construction. Georgina calls him out on this and Isaac’s head is about to explode. Fabio was warned last week he needed to bring it this week and because he didn’t, he’s out – even though it is Michelle who is almost axed.
Then a stupid wedding on the runway ensues on the spot? Who the hell would get married by Alyssa Milano on Project Runway? Obviously nobody since the bridesmaids are models, all the designers are in the same clothes and what appears to be a father of the bride or groom is wearing a polo shirt. At this point, I’ve seen enough and have to turn it off. It’s too ridiculous, even for me. I have to catch up on Downton Abbey…where the fashion is much better.
“I wish I would have dressed a little better.” – Michelle
“I haven’t even sketched one singe thing today.” – Sonjia
“I think you just used that as an excuse to touch my boobs.” – Michelle
“He just set himself up for disaster.” -Dmitry
“Someone is going home tomorrow and that scares the crap out of me.” – Helen
“I am about to vomit.” -Fabio
“She’s just going into her box of crayons and using the same 3 colors over and over again.” – Helen
“The hemline is kind of a mess.” – Alyssa
“Just hike it up!” – Isaac
“I don’t know what it’s doing from up there, but from here it is looking a little penis-like.” – Alyssa
“It’s so unattractive, I’m sorry.” – Isaac
“That is not a good dress – period!’ – Isaac
“It’s not called Project Runway It’s Not a Disaster, It’s called Project Runway All Stars.” – Isaac
“I don’t know who any of you are this week.” – Isaac
“That is like boob and then schmoob” – Isaac
“No…It looked like a circus dress!” – Alyssa
“It sucks…so close to the end.” – Fabio
“Love is like fashion. It has its ups and does but it never goes out of style.” – Alyssa
Be sure to check out our other favorite site dedicated to all things Project Runway…Blogging Project Runway!
– Lauren Dimet Waters