Honestly, this season of Project Runway All Stars is as uncomfortable to watch – and I’m not just talking about a hugely pregnant Alyssa Milano stuffed in to a leather skirt. The poor girl can hardly move which just adds to how bad she is a host. I digress.
This week the challenge was about designing two looks for two strangers about to embark on their first blind date, courtesy of Match.com. So the remaining designers are paired by the previous week’s winner Sonjia. Instead of being strategic, she actually makes pairs of designers who actually want to work together. Dumb. Sonjia pairs herself with Dmitry, Jay with Fabio, Samantha with Michelle and Helen with Justin. Each team gets a budget of $300 to create the two complimentary looks (divided how the so choose) and one day to work because the dates are that evening! The winner gets to remain in the competition oh and a luxury spa date for two courtesy of Match.com.
Next the designers meet their clients. Another snoozer. Everyone is easy and fairly low-maintenance. These challenges are only fun to watch when some poor designer gets an a-hole. There are three hetero couples and one gay male couple (who Jay and Fabio are thrilled to have!). This means each team will have to deal with making clothes for men. If you remember Michelle’s season (male strippers), menswear is not her forte. Yet her partner Samantha assures her she can do it and basically forces Michelle into designing the menswear which results in a panic attack or the flu (not sure which).
Next the designers get their clients separately dressed and ready for their first dates. Then we get to see the couples all meet out in different locations wearing their newly designed duds…and more interestingly, see if they hit it off. It seems Match.com did a better job for them than they ever did for me back in the day (yes, I went on a few Match.com dates). The next day the couples all come back to walk the runway in the same clothes for the judges who consist of; Isaac Mizrahi, Georgina Chapman and Orange is the New Black actress, Laverne Cox.
Fabio & Jay – These dudes know dudes! At first I thought the pink jacket was going to be a dud, but the look works. Actually both looks work. They actually both showed elements of creative design and the couple really hit it off to boot. In fact, they were asked to share their first kiss on national television. Awww. No word if they are still together. Oh and Fabio wins.
Sonjia & Dmitry – This one is a little more confounding. The female client Helen said her date Craig reminds her of Richard Gere (he does a bit), but Georgina thinks his outfit makes him look like an old married man (oh right, Richard Gere is divorced now). Laverne isn’t a fan of the black/navy combo and thinks it’s too dark. I hate Helen’s aqua blue dress (color and style) for Helen, but the judges seem to dig it. They like the half moon cutout on the bodice which I hate and think it looks cheap. However, they are both safe.
Samantha & Michelle – Michelle is actually proud of her work and that it’s infinitely better than her stripper disaster (girl needs to get her menswear game on). Her grey slacks and black top with zipper details for Arvind weren’t bad. Not nearly as bad as the crop top and too tight lace white pencil skirt Samantha designs for Racquel. When the client says she admires Kim Kartrashian’s recent Kanye influenced style, I know this is going to spell disaster. Samantha should be sent home, but she and Michelle are safe.
Helen & Justin – Helen’s design for her pretty client (can’t remember her name) is tragic. The blue silk top looks perfect for sleeping, not a date. The skirt is also too short and Isaac calls out Helen on the bad fit and hemline. It’s totally not flattering and who wants to look pregnant on a first date? Justin sadly fell victim to his client’s wants, which is something you might find in Banana Republic – nothing special and nothing that would win you a design competition. Listening to a boring client will get you canned and in this case, it almost did. On the bright side this couple is probably married by now and the judges decided to let both Helen and Justin stay in the competition. Nobody is eliminated. Snooze.
All I want to know is…what’s the update on the couples?
“Sonjia is picks me to work kith her – Because I’m the best!” – Dmitry
“That means we’re designing for a man! …My heart is sinking.” – Michele
“I think you should make the men’s… I’m begging you… I’m begging you!” – Sonjia
“I can’t even measure, it’s like my eyes are crossing. I don’t design on a penis every day.” – Michelle
” You don’t want her to look like she just won a pageant” – Zanna
“What the hell are you thinking? This is a pink jacket!” – Zanna
“I’m a girl!” – Jay
“It’s like a friction Christmas miracle that I did this and I was so sick.” – Michelle
“Sam and Sonjia are one trick ponies … Oh – pencil skirt again!” – Helen
Fabio’s looks like a little boy and like a medical outfit.” – Dmitry
“It’s in the Monica Lewinski blue and … is it going to come back with the stain?” – Michelle
“Fabio’s look is barf…” – Michelle
“My biggest concern was boobs.” – Samantha
“I was happy when I saw the back, I was like ‘Yippy! we got some personality!’
“It doesn’t look like a first date, it looks like a first trimester.” – Isaac
“Do you want to kiss now?” – Laverne Cox
“I got hospital scrubs… but in a good way.” – Georgia
“It’s like gay priest on a yacht” – Isaac
“It’s Boca Raton, it’s a little retirement village…let’s face it.” – Isaac
“I wanted to slap her – there are a million ways to cover up boobs.” – Isaac
“Why’s everybody crying?” – Fabio
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– Lauren Dimet Waters